


Breaking an Angel

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking to Cope, Drunk Finn, Drunk Poe Dameron, Jealous Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Minor Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Pining Kylo Ren, Pining Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 17:22:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16791379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Kylo comes back home after the Supremacy. Not everyone is happy to see him.





	Breaking an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this something I dreamed up with MidgardianNerd.

He shouldn’t be jealous. 

He shouldn’t. Poe knows it. It’s one of those things where he simply shouldn’t care, and yet even looking at Kylo — at Ben, he knows — with Rey, he can’t help but wonder what was different. It’s not about him, he knows this. It’s about Han Solo too, how Kylo refused to come back with him, even killed him — and yet he still wonders if he was enough. If he wasn’t good enough, for Ben. 

It’s long after the battle of Crait. They’ve taken some pretty heavy losses. Now, Kylo’s off to the side, deep in conversation with Rey; he can’t make out their words, but he can make out the rhythms of their voices. He can make out how Kylo seems strained, like he’s trying to hold back emotion, Rey reassuring and steady. He almost wishes that he were in Rey’s place. He almost wishes he could tell off Kylo, tell him the truth. He wishes he could do so much. Anything. 

“Hey.” Kaydel’s voice jars him out of his thoughts. “You okay?”

Poe looks over at her. “Yeah,” he says. “I’m fine. It’s...not like I care or anything. I mean, I shouldn’t.”

”You shouldn’t,” Kaydel says. “He’s a monster, and she’s an idiot for thinking she can help him. And I swear, if he hurts you again, he’s gone.”

Poe presses his lips together. He wishes that he could say the same. Instead, he can’t help but remember how Ben was before. Ben, the gentle, nerdy boy who loved things like art and calligraphy, and who Poe loved with all his heart even if he could never really say it aloud. 

But he nods. He can’t tell Kaydel that it’s not that simple, because she never knew how Ben was before. She’d never really understand. 

***

It’s in private that Kylo tells Rey the truth about Poe. “You probably saw glimpses of him,” he said. “When you...forced me out of your mind, and when we touched hands.”

Rey nods. “Bits and pieces, yes. Who was he?”

Kylo pauses. He doesn’t know how to explain it yet. Poe Dameron, gentle and cheerful and funny and beautiful and humble and kind, and a man who was everything to him. Is everything to him, even now. 

“His name is Poe Dameron,” he says, and he sees Rey’s breath hitch. “You heard that name before?”

”Well, yes. Finn had his jacket.” It’s still odd to hear her refer to FN-2187 as...well, Finn. Kylo supposes he’s never really looked at FN-2187 that way before. “I didn’t know he meant so much to you.”

”He did.” Still does, actually. 

Rey continues. “What was — is — he like?”

Kylo closes his eyes. “Well,” he begins. “He’s brave. Funny. Loyal. He’s overwhelmingly kind; he has a talent for seeing things other people don’t know existed. He makes mistakes, but he has a pure heart.” And it hurts, knowing he took this beautiful being and hurt him in such a way. Then again, Kylo Ren is a mistake, and he supposes he’s known that all along. 

“He was captured by the First Order, wasn’t he?” Rey says. 

Kylo nods. “I hurt him. I’m not...proud of that.”

”Why, Ben?”

Kylo opens his eyes. “I didn’t want to. I put off interrogating him personally as long as I could. I thought I could get information out of him other ways. I put it off, and put it off, and after that failed, I thought, at least, that I had no other choice.” A beat. “It makes no difference, but I hated hurting him. It was like taking something beautiful and shattering it.”

Rey nods. “Have you considered...making amends?”

”I don’t know where to begin.”

”There’s always a place, Ben.”

***

The main hold is busy. Poe’s already downing his third shot of Corellian ale, and he has to admit that it all seems weird, different, after three shots. He’s not drunk, but he’s getting there. Finn’s pretty sloshed, and he’s talking about Rey and how he should have told her the truth about how he felt, and how Rose, while nice, isn’t the one for him. 

And he asks Poe if he’s had anyone. Cared about anyone. 

“Well,” Poe says, downing another shot of Corellian ale first, “His name was Ben...”


End file.
